11.06.08 Ben Harding: Too good looking? - Rob Smith

Gorkys charismatic attacking, defending, midfield maestro and occasional drunk Ben Harding has parted with 75% of his hair after a breakdown in talks led to a split. A spokesman for Harding revealed that during a recent match a sudden change of styling had made it almost impossible for him to run with a tail wind. The missing hair has since gone into hiding but is rumoured to have a secured a highly lucrative deal as an accountant for Jude Law, with a view to covering any further losses for the beleaguered actor.